Don't vote for me

This is my final post on this blog. As you enter the polling booth, I want you to remember to do the right thing. And that is to vote for a candidate who can really bring about change in this country. Think honesty and decency. Remember children overboard, Kyoto, and not saying sorry. Don't vote for me; I'm a GP, not an MP. Vote for somebody who is committed to creating a better future.

Animal magnetism

I've heard the pitches from Howard the Duck and Elmer Fudd, and I still think voting for a guinea pig makes sense.

Don't listen to them

Let me make this perfectly clear: My campaign does not have the support, implicit or explicit, of any credible journalist.

Getting personal

I read that the Labor Party will start making personal attacks on John Howard. I have no truck with this sort of cmapaigning; however I see nothing wrong with calling somebody a rodent.

Doesn't even rate

I live in a cage that I don't even own, so don't come whingeing to me about interest rates.
(Memo to self: does that sound arrogant?)

Poll axed

I can't understand why there's no mention of me in the latest polls. Obviously, they aren't surveying enough small furry creaures.

Still going strong

Memo to all those people who are saying that my campaign is running out of steam: I'm still creating as much hot air as ever.

A point of clarification

When I said I would change everything once I got into power, what I really meant was that I would keep everything exactly like it is. But better.

Setting the record straight

I'm sorry, but I simply don't have anything to apologise for. Another reason to vote for me!

Boxing clever

Like John Howard, I don't believe in polls - especially when they don't even mention me. I juts have great faith that, come the day of the only poll that really counts, millions of right-thinking Australians will think outside the boxes they are supposed to put numbers in and simply write "Marvin for PM" across their ballot paper.