Pig of the people

It has come to my attention that many Australians have been watching football this weekend. I don't know much about sport, but I say: "Go, the winning team! Vote for me!" Now, I'll just quietly munch on a carrot until the hysteria dies down.

Election: I'm ready

There's a rumour that the current, human prime minister is planning to call an election either today or tomorrow. I don't know what his plans are, but when he calls the poll I will be ready. My campaign team is in place, and we are spoiling for a fight. Bring it on, I say!